Food Sovereignty

I.S.F.D. 41

Misa Ulises

Written and Language Expression IV

Food Sovereignty: Women’s Resistance to the World’s Current Food Distribution System within a Globalized Agricultural Era.

Selling, processing and exchanging local food have played for centuries an essential role in the small-scale farmers sphere and local agricultural industries, especially among developing countries. Incidentally, women have not represented a minor aspect in this regard. Actually, more than a half of the World’s growing and harvesting is carried out by women.  However, despite hundreds of years of technology improvement and the usage of more complex and efficient methods to produce and collect agri-food, the current food distribution system does not precisely guarantee the right for healthy food to everyone. Moreover, developments of greater industries and supermarkets along with unfair international trade agreements affect many women whose daily incomes are gained through working in the crops and local storages that cannot compete with the lower costs of bigger markets or imported rations. Nonetheless, in the past ten years, women’s involvement in farm movements and food organizations, have achieved a more favorable perspective about this matter. This article explores the role of women in the World’s Food System and their resistance to a Globalized Agricultural Scheme. For the purposes of this paper, in order to address the importance of women within the vision and constraints of such a system, I shall firstly deal with the place that multinational food corporations take nowadays and how they have shaped and still stir the role of women in localized food systems and small agricultural industries. Then, it will be determined in what ways Food Sovereignty provides a new framework and better alternative to Food Security.  Finally, I shall examine the participation of women in the farm movement, La Via Campesina and their determination to achieve Food Sovereignty.

Undoubtedly different periods of industrialization, privatization and liberalization have been followed by an abrupt expansion and development of an alarming number of Multinational food corporations able to access credit and taxes more advantageously than other regional farm operators. On the basis of this Globalized Scheme, most family farm work and specially women’s labour’ force, have been diminished by the global effects of these powerful Enterprises and Trade Business Companies. While many food corporations get quickly integrated in the global market, many women’s farming skills, knowledge of seeds and traditional products remain unrecognized. Most of these disadvantages of this kind of system have been already discussed and being considered by different food distribution frameworks. Most of them underlined the importance of the regeneration of local food production and the reimplementation of agroecological procedures allowing  the incorporation of renewable resources accessible from the farm.  Nevertheless, as it will be discussed later in this paper, eventually women would occupy a more respectable and active place in the reformation of the current food system working along with many other entities in order  to explore the effects of this neoliberal agricultural model.

The concept of food security, which primarily focuses on food supply problems, has allowed food exports to believe that the most profitable way to provide sufficient food for everyone relies on the import of cheaper comestibles rather than producing them locally.  The rudimentary ideas of this food system of the 1960’s  have not only failed to address the importance of who produces the comestibles and under which conditions are grown, but has also encouraged many countries to become unnecessarily dependent on the international market and consequently driving them away from their farms in the search for “better” possibilities in the city. Conversely, including agrarian reforms, considering equity within gender relations, valuing local food providers and natural resources, and featuring a shift to agroecological production, among others, the emergent framework of Food Sovereignty introduces an alternative food regime and paradigm to reconsider, and even challenges unequal agrarian polices at an international level. Furthermore, placing focus on monitoring the production and consumption of comestibles, rather than granting access to food via safeguarding sufficient trade and technology development, the ideas of Food Sovereignty promote and foster autonomy at a community scale and eventually encompass a more suitable option to solve hunger issues around the world.

Despite striking social inequalities amidst a male-dominated society, women’s influence and participation in the development of a more democratic food distribution system determined to value local food production, have been widely acknowledged in the last decades. From the analysis and experimentation of those who produce greater part of the World’s food, the concept of Food Sovereignty has been little by little framed and thus incorporated by different agrarian movements and organizations. La Via Campesina, originated around the 1990’s by different food sovereignty activists around the word, finally would set the ground and proper path to represent not only small-scale farmers, but landless people, many women farmers, indigenous and peasants from different communities as well. Incidentally, women’s radical avocation to this concern put emphasis not only on the methods used to grow and harvest food but also on issues of gender inequality, which become key for further symmetrical and global representation. Nowadays La Via Campesina has already gathered farmers from more than 60 countries and continues pushing forward to achieve a more autonomous and sustainable way to produce and administer every day’s food.

 All in all, women’s role in the reformation of the current food system has become decisive to promote via the Food Sovereignty framework a more convenient way to allow more ecological units to produce healthy food and preserve the environment as well. Evidently there are still many aspects to keep on developing if we consider the fact that in spite of the existence of enough food to feed every person in the world, yet many communities suffer from food shortage or bad alimentation.  However, without undermining the consequences of this globalized and neoliberal food distribution framework in which we are all immersed, the possibilities for a systemic change in this society are now more feasible to be achieved. Advocated to the concepts of Food Sovereignty and embraced by the supportive principles of La Via Campesina, women have little by little acquired and earned their respect and own place to define the future of the World’s agricultural system, avoiding an unnecessary reliance on the International Market, and ultimately overcoming poverty and inequality at an international scale.

References

Krebs, A. & Lehman, K. (2012). “Control of the World’s Food Supply”. Converge.  Retrieved October 26, 2014 from http://www.converge.org.nz/pirm/ctrlfood.htm.

Patel, R.C. (2012). “Food Sovereignty: Power, Gender, and the Right to Food.” Plos. Retrieved October 22, 2014 from http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.1001223.

Pimbert, M. (2009). “Women and Food Sovereignty”. Leiza India. Retrieved October 22, 2014 from http://www.indiaenvironmentportal.org.in/files/Women%20and%20food%20sovereignty.pdf.

Wittman, H. (2011). “Food Sovereignty A New Rights Framework for Food and Nature?” Environment and Society: Advances in Research. Retrieved October 22, 2014 from http://vssweb1.landfood.ubc.ca/publications/Wittman_2011_Food_Sovereignty_Review_Env_Society.pdf.

World Development Movement: "Justice for the World's Poor. (2012). “Food Sovereignty”. Retrieved October 20, 2014 from http://www.wdm.org.uk/sites/default/files/food_sov_tricky_questions.pdf.

The West-Eastern Divan Orchestra

A Favorable Combination for Them

A Multicultural Orchestra

I.S.F.D. 41

Misa Ulises

Written and Language Expression IV

A Favorable Combination for Them

 The Multicultural Orchestra

Israel, located east to the Mediterranean Sea, is the world’s only Jewish state. Jews wanted to establish a national homeland in what was then Arab territory. The Arabs, known today as the Palestinian terrain, looked for the creation of their own country and government on all or part of the same land as well. Moreover, Jewish’s increasing immigration after WWII’s Holocaust, intensified hostility even more between the two parties.  Early attempts by the United Nations to grant each group part of the disputed land have failed and remained equivocal as to the respective claims of the Palestinians and Israelis. Eventually both territories engaged in several wars, leaving Israel in 1967 in control of the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Decades of uncertainty and violence have resulted from the incapability of either side to acknowledge each other’s allege about the disputation of the land. However, beneath this international conflict, Classical Music tries to find its own way to ameliorate the incompatibility between these two ethnic Middle East groups. Despite the sparking controversy caused by his performance in Ramallah, the enthusiastic Orchestra conducted by Daniel Barenboim would foster, through the language of music, a spirit of understanding and humanity, and thus enhance peace amongst a territory that has been under friction for several decades.

The West-Eastern Divan Orchestra conducted from 1999 by the Argentinian-Israeli Daniel Barenboim along with the Palestinian Edward Said has grown to become Daniel’s most powerful device to enhance respect and understanding within the Israeli and Palestinian people. His artistic and revolutionary ideas have been wisely organized in order to provide a space for young multicultural students to share their knowledge, skills and backgrounds, and thus bridge the gap between their own different origins. “In front of a Symphony, we are all equals” said Barenboim in one interview program some years ago. These students that take part of this constructive workshop may enhance their musical techniques while they learn to “live together” with other members that may come from a state or country opposite to their own one. Therefore, their music plays a key role supporting intercultural dialogue through musical education encouraging mutual acceptance and soothing antagonism within the whole Orchestra.

The Divan project, however, has not always generated compassion and sympathy along all its audience. Actually, several groups have reacted in the past against some of the Orchestra’s choice of songs which had anti-Semitic roots. One of the reasons for Barenboim’s works to be interpreted as creative as controversial, laid on his decision of conducting Wagner’s song Tristan und Isolde in an Opera festival thirteen years ago. Although the artist has already explained in various interviews, and some may or may not agree with him, that it would have been a victory for the Nazis for Wagner’s music not to be performed in Israel, others complained that Wagner’s representation heart the feelings of thousands of citizenships of the Israeli State who automatically linked the song with atrocities that had taken place during Hitler’s period. Additionally, some Orchestra Directors would even consider his attitude towards his own culture, unethical and unfair for the audience. Nevertheless, all his work along with his group of musicians seems to have continued inspiring many youngsters across the discordant terrains which still nowadays remain in conflict, despite particular failing boycotts or negative reactions against the conductor’s “peculiar” choices for his concerts.

Admired and criticized at the same time, Barenboim’s musical project has not only encouraged people from antagonistic territories to gather in a multicultural Orchestra and be given an opportunity to make their way through the Classical Music experience.  The Divan devise has offered as well, the creation of a forum to talk and reflect upon the conflicts that insists on corrupting the peace of thousands of people who still remain without their own homelands. Furthermore, this Orchestra brings together musicians from Israel, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, and Egypt to work on the self-improvement of their Socio-Cultural and Political differences, and thus generate a sense of humanism across the Middle East and upon the increasing audience that identifies with their songs and encouraging spirit. These talented students with the help of such an experienced conductor like Daniel Barenboim, have worked hard to convey with their instruments a message of freedom, peace and civilization, through which is fair enough to believe that like in an orchestra, it takes time and effort to arrive at a point where everybody can think alike and complement with your partner or homeland neighbor, but is not impossible to achieve.

From its very beginning, the Divan project has proved how music could work as an effective device to enhance acceptance and understanding throughout two nations that have been under struggle for more than half a century. Moreover, it suggests that it is possible to coexist and preserve unity and humanity between Israelis and Palestinians if everybody works together towards equalization and mutual understanding. Although The West-Eastern Divan Orchestra may not provide a final solution to the persistent problem within these ethnic groups, at least their songs and constructive workshop could encourage more people to meet each other and find out that despite obvious difference amongst their believes, we are all humans with the same rights.

References

Barenboim, D. (2011, ). Wagner, Israel and the Palestinians. Daniel Barenboim.  Retrieved September 23, 2014, from http://www.danielbarenboim.com/journal/wagner-israel-and-the-palestinians.html

Barenboim, D. (2011, ). Daniel Barenboim on the Cancellation of Performances of Idomeneo in Berlin. Daniel Barenboim.  Retrieved September 23, 2014, from http://www.danielbarenboim.com/journal/daniel-barenboim-on-the-cancellation-of-performances-of-idomeneo-in-berlin.html

Keneş, B. (2013, February 27). East-Western Divan orchestra remains a source of controversy. Todays Zaman.  Retrieved September 25, 2014, from http://www.todayszaman.com/news-308268-east-western-divan-orchestra-remains-a-source-of-controversy.html

Quince, A. (2014, July 22). Rear Vision. Israel, Palestine and the problem with the two-                                                                                                 state solution.  Retrieved September 17, 2014, from http:// www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/rearvision/the-problem-with-the-two-state-solution/5614534

(2001, July 10). Pagina 12 web. Wagner, un tema tabú en Israel.  Retrieved September 18, 2014, from http://www.pagina12.com.ar/2001/01-07/01-07-10/pag24.htm

2013, February 05). Playing With the Enemy: Orchestra Brings Together Israelis and Arabs. PBS NewsHour.  Retrieved September 22, 2014, from http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/entertainment-jan-june13-music_02-05/

(2008, December 15). Daniel Barenboim as UN Messenger of Peace. UN web TV.  Retrieved September 22, 2014, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4kc3jhHRKo

Speaking in the Light of Writing

Speaking in the light of writing from Gus Tavo

The Nature of Men

 The Nature of Men

Misa Ulises

Teacher Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

Institute ISFD N° 41

The Nature of Men

        “Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman.” (Eccles. 25:13) Gender inequality has been perpetuated since remote times placing women into a subordinate condition. Moreover, unbalanced relations between men and women have introduced over domination upon females in such ways that women were only viewed as men’s property. Unfortunately, this tendency of men openly abusing and harassing women have also taken place in the Asian territory in the shape of a multitude of sexually frustrated soldiers raping the local women.  Although prostitution in Japan has existed all through the country's history, all the atrocities carried out by the Imperial Japanese Army throughout and even after WWII remained euphemistically disguised as “comfort system” for several decades due to different reasons including, the lack of documents supporting the use of coercive force for the recruitment of women, considering comfort women as licensed prostitutes engaging in legal business and furthermore, accepting unkind male sexuality in the nature of War.

         Despite the number of rising women’s testimonies about the comfort women issue, Japan did not have clear evidence to support their allegations. “None of the materials available to us backed up the allegations that the Japanese government and military were directly involved in coercive recruitment,” Nobuo Ishihara, a former deputy chief Cabinet secretary who took part in the drafting of the Kono Statement said on February of this year at a Lower House Budget Committee.  Although, the statement addresses military’s involvement in the matter, it was only based on some witnesses accusations since the welfare ministry, responsible for handling these kind of issues, lack of any relevant documents to support it. As a matter of fact, most war-time official records disappeared or were deliberately sabotaged by officers after Japan’s surrender obscuring the path to the truth of the “comfort women” outcome and eventually introducing further misconceptions.

       The concept of “legalized prostitution” has attempted to cover up the way in which women were treated in the comfort stations in that controversial atmosphere as well.  The life of those women who were unfortunate victims of the Japanese “comfort system” were not viewed in the same way by U.S Army records. Actually, there are official documents in the United State Office of War Information explicitly declaring comfort women to be “Professional Prostitutes”. Those records particularly did not identify instances of abduction or force recruitment of women. Conversely, such documents inferred that at that time it was clearly evident that legalized brothels were established operating as commercial prostitution and women would engage into that business for obvious economic reasons. Thus, the document asserts that most of those women kept more than half of their fees and during their “free time” participated in dinner parties and other “recreations”. Moreover, concepts such as “kidnaping” or “sexual servitude” have not been related to the comfort-women case until the 1980’s.

       Finally, the old tradition about male’s sexuality being clearly “uncontrollable” provides a broader but more arguable justification for the implementation and further coverage of the Japanese Army comfort system. Thus, the concept of women being historically oppressed plus the spreading of gender inequality, which has clearly proved to be more evident during war times, bring up again another item to bear in mind the understanding of what has been stated above. Following the expansion of Japan’s territory, many military soldiers running out of “volunteer prostitutes” began recruiting Chinese and Korean women in order to satisfy the ordeal of sexually frustrated men, first by deception but then implementing straightforward abduction. Even though no records had been found to prove these recruitment mechanisms, men supremacy over women has grown to be for centuries an inherited part of the nature of humanity and furthermore has become a weapon of war, accepted in combat and eventually possible of being covered up by a stigmatized society.

         It is a fact that the comfort women issue has raised more controversy in the last twenty years than it did when it was actually taking place during the regime of the Imperialized Japanese Army. Indeed, it is widely acknowledged that even nowadays, the insufficiency of reliable evidence becomes an unfortunate disadvantage to track the history of violence against women. Furthermore, the historical background of a country which had upheld Prostitution from the beginning and ultimately the old tendency and ideology of men’s sexuality being unmanageable bring again into question more arguments to analyze the predisposition of a Nation to conceal and disguise the constant sexual abuse of thousands of women. Although reparations and compensations are being contemplated for these women, there seems to be not enough interest on the Japanese Government to reconsider the study of this matter and determine a solution for all the suffering these women have undergone. Meanwhile, let us not now promote an era in which such issues remain unclear and ambiguous in the relationship between History and Testimony. Let us instead recall an unfortunate number of women whose voices had not been allowed to speak for the truth for more than fifty years.

Works Cited

WcP.Story.Teller . (March 08, 2010). Women's Day hears voice of "comfort women". Retrieved on August 15,2014, World Cultural Pictorial from: http://www.worldculturepictorial.com/blog/content/womens-day-hears-voice-comfort-women-wwii-survivorsv

Works cited: Yoshiko Nozaki. (2012). The “Comfort Women” Controversy: History and Testimony*. Retrieved on August 12, 2014, The Asia-Pacific Journal: Japan Focus from: http://www.japanfocus.org/-Yoshiko-Nozaki/2063

Hick, G.. (October, 1996). Roberts on Hicks, 'The Comfort Women: Japan's Brutal Regime of Enforced Prostitution in the Second World War'. Retrieved on August 18, 2014,  H-Women from: https://networks.h-net.org/node/24029/reviews/29798/roberts-hicks-comfort-women-japans-brutal-regime-enforced-prostitution

Williams, L. (2013) Comfort women: South Korea's survivors of Japanese brothels. Retrieved on August 18, 2014 from:  http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-22680705#story_continues_2

Ueno, C.. (February 28, 2006). The Place of "Comfort Women" in the Japanese Historical Revisionism. Retrieved on August 12, Sens. Public from: http://www.sens-public.org/spip.php?article196&lang=fr

McNeill, M. (October 21, 2010). Japanese Prostitution. Retrieved on August 20,2014, The Honest Courtesan from: http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/japanese-prostitution/

Academic Writing

 What is “academic” Writing?
by L. Lennie Irvin

(Summarized and paraprhased by me)

Writing tasks in college often cause unpleasant emotions and doubts on the leaner’s counterpart. Moreover, the term “academic” creates even more confusion because it encloses a set of rules and requirements to consider, which are not usually directly expressed. Considering the significance of writing as part of a communicative skill to develop, this essay will guide you through what is academic writing and how to handle these discouraging situations when dealing with written assignments. 

A proper understanding about your own writing and the way in which you in engage in the task, determine your success. Thus, as successful writing is dependent on the representation of the assignment, or rather the writer’s mental model for interpreting the task. In any case, before getting into deep analysis about the components of the academic writing and its essential qualities, it is important to light up some misinterpretations that commonly take place in college.   

Myths about writing

The following notions represent those myths or things people believe about composing a text that unfortunately are closely connected with deficient writing.

Myth #1: The “paint by Numbers” myth

Considering the fact that writing is recursive, rather than adopting a number of steps to follow in order to write “correctly”, it is more useful to repeat the different steps of the writing process as many times as you need.

Myth #2: The “everything-figured-out” writers

Since it is practically impossible to have everything in mind before writing, drawing some first drafts and taking notes are more advantageous than waiting in front of a blank paper.

Myth #3: Perfect first drafts

Because polished writing employs lots of revision you should not be nonsensical about early first drafts

Myth #4: The genius fallacy

The ability to write is not something definite or established. As a matter of fact it takes effort and time in order to improve your own writing skills.

Myth #5: Good grammar is good writing

Rather than grammatical correctness, a well written piece will account for a desired effect upon an intended audience.

Myth #6: The five paragraph essay

There is not a particular format that will always work for every assignment, so, in many cases, adapting the format according to the required task may be the best option.

Myth #7: "Avoid the usage of “I”

The usage of “I” does not precisely match the formal style. On the contrary, it sounds conceited and rather informal.

The academic writing situation

Having stated the most encountered myths at college, one difficulty that novice writers often face is a poor sense of the writing situation in general. Differently from speaking, when we write, we are disposed to picture and create a context to account for a certain audience in place and time. Moreover, considering the fact that our work will definitely have at least one reader, the correct use of punctuation and word choice are also fundamental. In other words, developing your writer’s sense is the key for a freshman writer to achieve communication in his work.

Indeed, the writing situation in college addresses a particular audience (usually the professor), a context in which you should demonstrate your learning and interpretation about the subject, a purpose related to the accomplishment of the task or rather getting a good mark, and finally a document or genre being the essay the most  frequently encountered. In addition to this, Lee Ann Carrroll, a professor at Pepperdine university affirms that writing assignments at college may more accurately be called literacy tasks and that this kind of projects often require a number of abilities and skills including the following::

Knowledge of research skills: Researching consists of a process in which you are supposed to focus and direct more in-depth information than simply going straight to Google or Wikipedia and grasp whatever you find there. Actually, researching involves looking for information in databases containing scholarly articles or other interesting texts.

Reading complex texts: Besides only close-reading, success on your writing assignment will depend on the quality of your reading, which necessarily demands thinking critically, separating facts from opinion and making inferences based upon the known factors.

Understanding key concepts: In order to demonstrate your learning in the task provided, you are supposed to look over carefully for central concepts avoiding giving your opinion based only on your experience.

Synthesizing, Analyzing and responding critically to New Information: Underlies learning ways to sort and find meaningful patterns throughout your research process. 

Decoding College Writing Assignments

After having dealt with researching and reading, the next step to carry on with a proper writing is to present an argument (thesis) to be supported with appropriate evidence. Thus, stating your opinion to earn your audience’s consideration is not enough to create a better understanding of the subject matter. On the contrary, creating academic arguments implies the stating of a carefully arranged viewpoint in order to be analyzed through the implementation of key concepts you have been studying so far, being the essay the result of your analysis. The student carrying on the investigation is therefore encouraged to seek “Why” and “How” question rather than “What” questions, identifying meaningful parts of the subject and how they relate to each other. In other words, creating and supporting arguments involves figuring out what the professor expects including explicit and implicit expectations that then may converge into some larger effect or message. 

Common Types of College Assignments

Based on the instructor’s degree of direction for the project, you are likely to encounter three different types of literacy tasks. One of these types belongs to the Closed Writing Assignment, in which you are supposed to determine between two encounter claims, the most valid one and then show your knowledge on the support for that claim. Another kind of task may correspond to the Semi-Open Writing Assignment. In this one in particular, although you are given a “closed” topic to develop, determine and stating your own claim represents a major challenge. Moreover, to achieve a successful writing of this kind is fundamental to find specific patterns and relationships about the case of study. Finally, a third possible option may be the Open Writing Assignment in which you are expected to decide on your own the Topic of your work and the appropriate thesis statement to be analyzed within a manageable size.

Paragraphs by listing and comparison

Ulises Misa & Brenda Laguarta

Professor: Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

Institute: ISFD N° 41

Causes of Students’ Failure:

Preliminary Writing:

·         A negative view of learning / negative attitude towards studying

·         Lack of confidence / thinking they are not capable of improving

·         Bad study habits / bad organization (of time)

·         Procrastination

·         Not supporting family - Irresponsible parents - negative study environment

Version handed-in:

Causes of Students’ Failure

One of the things that nowadays is worrying teachers and parents the most is students’ failure at school. Students’ inability to meet the academic standards required can be related to four different factors. First, a negative attitude towards studying can be really damaging since it prevents students from making a thorough effort when learning, which is correlated with good academic performance. Second, lack of confidence in oneself is detrimental, because on the one hand, students eventually conclude that they are not capable of improving, and also their abilities and talents remain hidden. Third, bad organization also prejudices students’ performance generating bad study habits and the feeling that there is never enough time for accomplishing tasks. Fourth, procrastination is a tough, harmful habit to break since students keep putting off tasks without realizing that it only promotes high levels of stress and a poor academic achievement. Since the four factors previously mentioned directly lead students to failure, they should be treated by parents, teachers and counsellors so as to foster students’ success at school.

Final version

Causes of Students’ Failure

Something that could help parents, teachers and counsellors who want to know how to foster students’ success at school, is to identify the most common factors that can lead a learner to failure. To begin with, a negative attitude towards learning can be really damaging since it prevents the student from making a thorough effort when learning, which is correlated with good academic performance. Apart from that, the inability to meet the academic standards required can be related to the student’s lack of confidence in his own abilities, which results in the erroneous conclusion that he is not capable of improving. In addition to this, bad organization can be detrimental to a learner’s academic performance, generating bad study habits and the feeling that there is never enough time for accomplishing tasks. Closely related to this, procrastination appears as a tough, harmful habit to break because students frequently tend to postpone tasks without realizing that it only promotes high levels of stress and poor academic achievement. Therefore, being aware of the factors previously mentioned, and how they impact on the learning process of students, can be of benefit not only for the learner’s family, but also for the Educational Institutions responsible of promoting students’ achievement at school.

Working women

Preliminary Writing:

Working women in the past and in the present. Similarities:

·         They showed that they could do the same type of work usually assigned to men: For eg. women during the 1st World War worked in the factories because men were in battle. Nowadays, some women also work in areas typical of men (construction workers, pilots, etc…)
·         Having to spend a lot of time away from home: leave their children at home/school; even little kids.
·         Being the head of the family.
·         Facing criticism.
·         In the meantime, the Industrial Revolution was birthed and women began to be needed to fill unskilled worker roles in factories and mills.
·         During World War I, and later WWII, scores of women filled the vacancies left by their brothers, husbands, and sons, doing everything from driving cabs and pumping gas to manufacturing and even designing war planes.

First draft:

Working women

Humanity has evolved in a male-centered society. However, this attitude which considered women fit for certain jobs and not for others, has suffered different transformations throughout the last century. The traditional roles of men and women were established to ensure the power of the head of household. In that way, we have been socialized to expect men to be brave, industrious and domineering, whereas women have been expected to be submissive, timid and nurturing. Thus, females were dependent on men financially and lost their financial support as a consequence of separation, divorce, death or their partner's loss of employment. Moreover, women's status in each culture varies in different ways. In some societies, women's status improved gradually, while in other, it declined or remained unchanged. Nevertheless, as the natural form of society progressed, women strived toward a higher degree of independence in their life. Nowadays, we can generally say that women's place and function have been expanded from what they traditionally were in the past. Women do not have to rely on their husbands anymore to provide an economic backup for the home, although we cannot affirm that gender inequality has been completely held back.

Second Draft:

Working women

Over the last decades, women have made notable changes in their labor force activities.. However, besides significant differences between the working women of the last centuries and the place that women take today in the worksphere, there are certain areas possible to be compared. Our past working women generations have showed that they could do similar type of work that the ones usually assigned to men. During World War I, and later WWII, uncountable women filled the vacancies left by their brothers, husbands, and sons, doing everything from driving cabs and mills to manufacturing and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for backing up the needs of their homes, while their relatives went to fight in war, they have become all of the sudden the main head of the family spending many hours away from home. Nowadays, it is more evidently that women are not only the bread winners of a considerable number of households, but also have achieved a greater progression towards total gender equality. Moreover, some women also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as factories, constructions or even pilots. Lilttle by little women around the world have probed to be reliable and determine for a branch of different activities despite their gender role. Unarguably, women have invariably been and will be an essential part in our lives and in the economy and status of different cultures.

Version handed- in: (wrong structures or mistakes underlined):

Working Women

Although significant differences there exist between the working women during the 20th century and working women today, there are certain possible areas of comparison. Working women generations over the past century have showed that they were perfectly able to do the same type of work usually assigned to men, like driving cabs, working in mills, and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for backing up the needs of the family, while their relatives were fighting at war, had to become all of a sudden the main head of the family. This implied that women, spent many hours away from home. Also nowadays, women are disposed to work long hours, even when it implies being away from home and their children for a long time. In addition, it is becoming evident that more and more women are today the bread winners of a considerable number of households. Moreover, some of them also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as pilots, factory workers, or even construction workers. Unarguably, although the place women occupy in the working sphere today is different from that in the 20th century, there are still some similarities as regards the sacrifices women are willing to make in order to sustain the economy of the family.

Corrected version:

Working women

      Despite notorious differences between the initiation of women in the work domain in the 1900s and the role they currently play in our society, important features of both still could be compared considering the type of work in which they take part. Working women generations over the past century have showed that they were perfectly able to do the same type of work usually assigned to men, like driving cabs, working in mills, and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for sustaining the needs of the family, while their relatives were fighting at war, had to become all of a sudden the head of the family. This implied that women, spent many hours away from home. Also nowadays, women are disposed to work long hours, even when it implies being away from home and their children for a long time. In addition, it is becoming evident that more and more women are today the bread winners of a considerable number of households. Moreover, some of them also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as pilots, factory workers, or even construction workers. Unarguably, although the place women occupy in the working sphere today is different from that in the 20th century, there are still some similarities as regards the works required to be done by them in order to maintain the family economy in general.

Metacognitive Analysis

      After having worked on the listing and comparative paragraphs, despite specific mistakes that could have been avoided by repeating the proofreading process, one of the key aspects I want to reflect upon this task is the one related to the importance of the Topic Sentence (T.S) in the construction of a paragraph. According to the theory, a well-designed paragraph needs a clear and attractive Topic Sentence in order to be supported (assisted) by the rest of the ideas in the body of the passage, and further on concluded by a proper restatement of the T.S. Considering this criteria, our two handed-in paragraphs have failed from the beginning due to the fact that that T.S has not been properly stated because it doesn’t specify which aspect/s are going to be dealt after on in its body. Consequently, all the elements of the body of the passage eventually will convey no meaning due to being disconnected to the initial idea of the paragraph. In the end, we should pay more attention to the statement of the Topic Sentence when we design any future fragments in order to have a clear idea, to then develop an accurate body.

Writing Properly

Academic Writing

In order to produce well written assignments in an Academic Style there are certain features and structures you have to contemplate. The following list includes some of the specific aspects that American university professors demand.

Ø  Consider

·         The kind of assignment

ü  Essays – Reports – Presentations – Reflective Pieces – Summaries – Annotated Bibliographies

ü  Read your module handbooks

Ø  Understand

·         The learning outcomes of the task

ü  What you are being asked

ü  What is expected of you

ü  Interpret and answer the question appropriately

Ø  Employ

ü  Formal language

ü  Correct grammar

ü  Linkers and conjunctions

ü  Well structured sentences and paragraphs

ü  Proper punctuation and spelling

ü  References in the style of the subject

Ø  Allow

ü  Re-reading

ü  Editing

ü  Proofreading

Structure of a well written paragraph

Ø  Shape

ü  Indent or skip a line

Ø  Topic sentence

ü  One central idea per paragraph

ü  Think of an interesting topic and give your opinion  

ü  No details- General- Thesis statement

Ø  Body

·         General

ü  All ideas connected with the topic sentence idea

ü  Supporting ideas/ arguments for the topic sentence

ü  Order of importance considering the strongest arguments

ü  Order of chronology considering events

·         Length

ü  Any

ü  Consider the kind of writing

·         Details

ü  Importance of your thesis statement

ü  Reasons that support your ideas

ü  Examples and Theories to discuss the topic

Ø  Flow

ü  Bridges/Linkers- connect ideas to each other

ü  Avoid repetition

ü  Key terms- can be repeated

ü  Shorter is better

ü  Connect the following paragraph (if there is one) with a bridge to the topic or to the previous paragraph

ü  Sentence connects to sentence- Paragraph connect to paragraph

ü  Linking logically

Ø  Closing sentence           

ü  Restate the topic sentence- keep your audience thinking

ü  Conclude with a clear statement

References:

Introduction to Academic Writing - Edge Hill University. Retrieved on 9 May 2014 from

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CelpkwseU5U

Parts of a paragraph - English academic writing introduction. English video lessons.

Retrieved on 9May 2014 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCuExRE6N-4

Writing skills -The paragraph. English video lessons. Retrieved on 9 May 2014 from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IFDuhdB2Hk

Misa, Ulises

Acha, Nicolas